私人日記 十一月初

幾天前終於能剪頭髮的下午, 左眼就開始紅了. 經驗告訴我, 接下來幾天別想出門了. 帶著眼鏡, 給他們一點時間休息也不錯. 心中換眼鏡的想法還繼續停留在資金不足的階段, 在拍賣網路上面持續看著自己垂涎已久的鏡框. 我想, 在真正擁有它們之前, 我會反覆的持續這個動作吧 . 慢慢的等著自己眼睛回復正常, 同時考驗著自己的耐性,

頭髮也短了, 雖然我的所謂長是一般標準的很短… 總覺得短一點比較輕鬆, 如果不能選擇完全捨棄那三千煩惱絲, 最起碼, 讓它短一點好了. 像是定期除雜草一樣. 求個安心.

我昏昏沈沈的渡過了星期天, 睡眠與恍如隔世的感覺充滿了時間. 吃了食物過了數小時之後就覺得很遙遠. 深夜應該響起的聲音遲遲沒有出現. 最想要的總是在自己指尖的前面一點點…天冷讓所有的事情都有點凍結起來, 入夜之後街上行人也明顯減少. 空虛的感覺因為溫度降低而顯得格外明顯. 電腦裡面與電腦外面的世界, 共享著同樣的溫度.

而夜晚跟白天持續著交替著. 總是幻想著明天會把事情做好做對然後生活的齒輪開始定速的順利運轉. 我發現自己做的事情不夠多….

well, depressing as things are, there's always tomorrow.

臉書與撲浪的隨波逐流

不久前才po了篇文章說自己覺得被那些設群網路綁住是可怕的事, 自己竟然head first 跳進去了. 所以也迎來好友以隨波逐流來形容(笑). 好在十一月的台灣版GQ就那麼剛好的出了相關的特輯. 也算是幫我這種新手節省了不少摸索遊戲規則的時間.

說到本月的台灣GQ, 初購買速翻一遍之後略有失望, 多少因為自己以為封面上那些自己喜歡的服裝單品會是這期的專題介紹. 結果只是時裝照 好在除了上述的專題, 還有一些重要的小訊息, 例如自己喜歡的保養品牌Malin+Goetz終於進駐台灣的消息. 馬欣的人物專欄也始終是我願意花錢買台版GQ的重要理由之一...

去了大立看看Malin+Goetz的專櫃, 才知道原來是Aesop代理商的最新力作, 數年沒有用Ｍ＋Ｇ了...價格倒是跟美國幾乎沒有價差, 根據專櫃人員指出, 也將採取不打折策略. 這樣也好. 反正, 能買到自己喜歡的保養品, 就像穿著保護性好的籃球鞋一樣, 有種放心感吧...

至於球鞋, 市面上的, 好貨不多.....好在outlet還有穿不完的stan smith可買...好看的Adidas Original, 也大概都被留在中北部, 然後限量限的很緊...真是可惜....

that's all for now...

Ideal nightmare for a long time baseball fan

Consider the following scenario -

your team,the oldest in the league's short 20 years history, extremely popular among fans, loved and hated New York Yankee style, just finished a long 7 games championship series. Defeated, but not down, as your team did well for the series and was close to winning it all.

Your team finished last in the first half of the season, with the head coach resigned half way through the half as your team got bitten hard by the injury bug, bad pitching, and inconsistent hitting. Getting blown out at the beginning of the game, as well as giving up big lead during the game, wasn't uncommon. There were some bright spots, like your new Big-League-Seasoned-Flame-Throwing-Starter help sell out stadiums, or your new twenty something rookie pitcher was more than solid among the bad bullpen. He in fact pitched like his number suggests, no.42, he reminds you of the bright future of the team, and his own.

All-Star game came and went. It was fun.

Came August. A new foreigner came in. A tall American lefty by the name of Kroon. He track record wasn't impressive. Actually none of your foreign players had spectacular stats, in part because you are a small budget team that ironically had perhaps the most fans.

So new guy Kroon came in, threw strikes, never blown a safe and was near-perfect in twenty or so tries. With the afore mentioned rookie no 42, another 2nd year guy, and another American lefty reliever, all of a sudden your bullpen is set and solid. The 'pen is so good that the game is basically decided by the 6th. You know, your starter gets you through the top of the 6th with a small lead, then you bring out your 1-2-3 'pen guys and the game's in good hands.

Your hitting is back too. While still not a whole lotta power but at least the hit parade is now more consistent and shows up more often. You had a guy in your team hitting Ichiro-like, was hurt at the beginning of the season, came back doing well; Your clean-up hitter is chasing .400 for the most part of the season. He plays hard, hitting well, quiet yet you knew he's the leader, a guy to count on in crunch time . So you started hitting, getting guys on base, utilize the quickness in your line-up, making it hard for opposing pitchers once a man gets on base.

You began to climb back in the standings, even ended up having a big 10-game lead over the 2nd place team. Your pitching staff's set. You began to know who's pitching on what day and you know you are winning most of the games. You ended up finishing up top for the 2nd half of the season, albeit lost some games in the last week of the regular seasons, when games don't really count.

For the 2nd straight year, you are up against your arch-rival, another old guard for the league, ran by a business so big that everyday folks can't live without it, in the championship series. Down 0-2 in the series, you picked up a win off a come back single from your star outfielder, who's been out most of the season with a broken arm. You even went late for game 6th, 17-innings late. Withstood a 4-4 tie for most of the game, the contest was 6 and half hours long, the longest ever in the league's history. Your star closer pitched 3 1/3, your 2nd year reliever pitched 5 1/3 with a broken nail in his middle finger. No.42 pitched the final two innings, perfect with 5Ks. You made history, and came up victorious, before the final game of the season. You lost that game, watching the arch-rival pouring beers and Champaign, celebrating their first 3-peat in team history. You came home, defeated but not down, knowing that you are good for the next year.

You woke up the next day, watching the news, reading the papers, business as usual. You saw several of your players being searched by the equivalent of FBI, saying that they might have hooked up with your former pitcher-with-potential -turned-booster (you remember how much signing bonus you paid him back then), set up errors and/or bad pitching, to ensure the betting result part of the game, is controlled. The players involved included the afore mentioned former Big-Leaguer. no.42, the 2nd year pitcher, your veteran, feisty utility man, and the bookish veteran reliever, popular among female fans. You terminated their contracts immediately to keep your sanity , your team is in danger of breaking up, as your GM had repeatedly said in the past that he would blow it all up seeing things like this happened to his team. Worse yet, the league is also in danger of going out in flames, as it's down to the minimum four teams, two down from last year thanks to similar situations. The investigation will go on, while you and your players future remained uncertain.

You don't want this happen to any team, let alone your favorite team. Anyone told you that this would happen just seven days prior, you would laugh it off like a good but late April Fool's. Except it ain't a joke, it's real, And it's could be worse. You could end up not having pro baseball next year. Players could ended up out of job, out and away from the only thing they've ever known how to do.

This is movie material, the kind that you would only want to see in a movie, because it made it a good movie. In life, you don't wish this on nobody. NOBODY. Yet, the nightmare ain't over. This is just the beginning of (hopefully not) the end...

私人日記 十月底

許久沒上台北的我, 在數星期之內二度北上, 當日來回, 屢行承諾, 順便見見世面 . 一到台北, 就是有種’’啊, 我到了個不同的世界’’的感覺. 夾雜著陌生與熟悉, 所以, 又把以前在國外學來的那套外國人闖天下的demeanor拿出來用. 看來, 從舊金山學到的自在, 似乎沒有完全學會, 要把它內化, 還要一點時間.

兄弟在激戰七場之後, 輸了球賽, 還在落幕的季節後有了戲外戲. 而這種戲, 可不是靠著安打串聯加牛棚守成就贏的了. 我衷心的希望, 這些球員們, 都沒有違背那種運動員自小到大都不會忘記的奮鬥精神. 不用說也知道, 我當然是站在球員那一邊的.

我沒有想到Fennesz將要來到台灣表演. 但日期跟可能的芝加哥之行撞期, 就看看, 誰和誰比較有緣份吧. 感謝小樹的臉書推薦, 希望會有不少人去看.

世界大賽開始了, ＮＢＡ例行賽也開幕. 棒球陪我們過春夏秋, 冬天到隔年夏天, 則是籃球的天下. 身為球迷真是幸福. 至少在諸多不順的時候, 球場始終為我開放, 球賽也會一直在.

要開始認真鑽研Max/MSP跟Live了.

最近也開始打球, 球感和其他微妙的東西會隨著比賽經驗的增加慢慢回來. 而這回, 將認真加強基本動作. 好歹我也進入了運動技巧與能力的高峰期 (年輕人說是二十七歲, 七十多歲的阿伯說是到三十歲後半). 看來, 我還有一點時間.

天氣開始轉涼了, 白天相當舒服, 晚上偶有即將入冬的涼意. 衣櫃裡當然還是少了一件所有的東西. 只有等到自己口袋深度大幅增加的時候, 再來進補衣物. 球鞋們破的破, 壞的壞. 還好outlet裡還是有一大箱的stan smith等著我. 簡單好用的基本款, 價值在此時就出現了.

今天正是加入臉書和撲浪. 看到了許多現在和過去認識的人. 會不會有過去的魔鬼出現, 有待時間證明. Social networking, here I come. 希望這些東西加上原有的blogger能產生加分的效果.…

Getting Interactive

If I remember correctly, some of Jordan Brand's micro sites are hard to navigate – strange icons and stranger layouts are no easy tasks to look around. Not so this time. The interactive website for the new Carmelo kicks is simple, informative and looking good. Head over to the M6 interactive site here.

The shoe's good too - clean, simple, seemingly comfortable and most importantly, protective. Definitively one of the on-court kick to cop for the season. With sneaker design getting crazier and crazier, it's good to see something that gets it in both form AND function. I'll be on the lookout for the white/black/red, triple black, triple white, and the eye-popping Denver home color way.

Coming to term with my past

almost two days spent in LA now. Lots of flashbacks of the good (and bad) ole days.

A few bullet points of life in L.A -

LA's big, real big. Can't get around without cars…

lots of Asians in LA, which blurs the thin line between being home and being here.

Malls, the brutal reminder for anyone who had spent some times in the any small towns in U.S.

All the above is just like the older days in Tenn/ohio, a period of time that I still refuse to come to nice terms with.

The good thing is, after being home for 3 years, I've now more comfortable with being a foreigner in U.S. Being foreign AND comfortable takes a lot of skills, hard work, money and luck. It's never just about the language barrier. What people tend to underestimate the difficulties of living in a foreign land, as they believe that the language barrier is the only obstacle in sight for anyone trying to survive here.

oh well, running out of time here, more on this later.

疏離

有鑑於近幾年來plurk 和facebook的盛行, 許多人的社交圈也從現實生活中直接在虛擬世界裡重製, 甚至於許多人的網路社交圈範圍大的可怕…

雖然說, 曾有那麼長的一段歲月中, MSN是我唯一的社交圈. 面對著那奇怪的稱兄道弟與更多人的名為交友實為利用, 令我相當感冒. 虛實真假的情感交流, 目的性浮起又消失（或只是單純的沒有交集的沈默） 真令我難以適從. 那感覺, 就好比積年累月常見面但完全沒有超越一般必要性寒暄的鄰居一樣. 你我都有好幾個. 日常生活中, 這本是極為自然到不值得多撰述的事. 為何, 搬到網路世界, 卻總是讓我心煩.

如果說, 已經承認且開始接受自己性格本質上的孤僻, 不可預期, 和各種狀況下必須的情緒冷熱調配, 就可以比較了解這現象了吧？

真正的朋友就那幾個. 其他的, 多半只是, 偶爾浮現在空氣中的, 類似紙張的東西.

想不到我在陽光溫暖視野遼闊的舊金山, 寫了這些, 真煞風景…..

不過, 更美好的文字, 就留給下回吧.